Top 10 Voynich Manuscript theories, decoded…
Symmetrical and repetitive prey behaviour is the key tool exploited by hunter gatherers: and so it goes with Voynich Manuscript websites. Once you’ve seen the same damaged pattern a few times, the shared wonky rationale behind it is usually fairly transparent.
And so here is a suggested critical reader for those fruity (but decidedly wobbly) jellies we all love to dip our fingers in: Voynich theories. Make of them all what you will…
(1) Any theory involving time travel or aliens
Subtext: “My theory has so many holes in, it would need two series of Doctor Who to fix them all.”
(2) Any theory involving Jesuits
Subtext: “I prefer reading 18th century fiction to 20th century non-fiction.”
(3) Any theory involving China
Subtext: “What do you mean, Jacques Guy wasn’t being serious?”
(4) Any theory involving the New World
Subtext: “I’ve got the hots for that Brazilian woman. What do you mean, she’s not female?”
(5) Any theory where the VMs is written in lightly disguised Hebrew
Subtext: “I wish I had read the Bible when I was young, instead of taking so many drugs.”
(6) Any theory where the VMs is written in a mixture of European languages
Subtext: “I put so much time into learning those languages, they have to be useful soon, right?”
(7) Any theory where the VMs contains alchemical or heretical secrets
Subtext: “Lynn Thorndike’s books are far too heavy for my weak arms to lift.”
(8) Any theory where the VMs describes telescopes, microscopes, or computers
Subtext: “I can rewrite the technological history of the world howsoever I please; and anyone who objects is just a moany old loser.”
(9) Any theory where the VMs is a hoax, channeled writing, glossolalia, etc
Subtext: “I can say anything I like about the VMs, and there’s absolutely nothing you idiot historians can do about it, ner ner ner.”
And finally…
(10) Any theory where the VMs was written by an architect
Subtext: “I see everything in the VMs as rational and ordered, however irrational and disordered everyone else may think it is. Perhaps I should lighten up.”
PS: because the torrent of VMs-related news has dwindled to a thin trickle over recent weeks, I’m taking the rest of August off – see you again in September! 
August 16th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
In other words, the Voynich manuscript is bullshit..
August 16th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Brukt Fôrhøster: yes, along with politics, science, history, love, war, Facebook….
November 21st, 2010 at 6:15 am
i think the key for this manunscript its let it on the last page,using that star drawing ,in the same dimension
November 21st, 2010 at 6:18 am
and i dont think its a bullshit,it contains very important information from the age when it was writen.i wish someone will try there with the star draw,i have the feeling that will be working
July 18th, 2011 at 9:17 pm
The page with the bunch of plants and roots and brown pot-looking things on the side – perhaps a list of certain plants that have psychedelic properties? I’d guess one of those is definitely a recipe for ayahuasca – just guessing, I’m a big Mckenna fan.
September 12th, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Could it be a medival language written in cursive?
September 12th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Devynity: nope, almost certainly not – numerous palaeographers have ruled this out, sorry.
January 18th, 2012 at 1:49 am
I think It’s a witchcraft book. Potions, astrology, spells…
January 30th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
re (2) yep. Too early for Jesuits. Franciscans or – less likely – Dominicans possible.
(3) Perfectly possible at least in terms of early 15thC context for the Vms, and the range of reasons for which Kircher might have nagged to see it after an initial reluctance.
It is true that Jacques Guy was kidding when he made the proposal in 1991 but in an article of 2004 (which I found through your site, actually) he says:
‘In 1997, a new member of our Voynich interest group, Jorge Stolfi, a professor of computer science, came up with statistical evidence that the structure of “Voynichese” was very similar to that of Mandarin Chinese. Highly sceptical, I set about finding flaws in his data or his reasoning. I could fault neither, and I wrote as much, just as emphatically as I had confessed to my Chinese hoax. There was then a lively exchange lasting some two years, with evidence mounting for the Chinese-like structure of Voynichese.’
Maybe the Chinese idea has been superceded since then? I’m still reading up on it.
NB: comments above are observations only.